How To Be Your Spouse's Best Friend

Before Taylor and I ever dated, we were best friends. We hung out every day and we knew everything about each other. He is was someone I could always go and talk to. And of course I was the person he would always came to also. Conversations were easy. We both really loved learning new things about each other. And the fact that he was totally adorable and I wanted to date him was a big reason for being best friends too. Then we started dating. And life was still perfect as ever because I had my best friend right at my side. Then we were engaged and he was still my best friend. And now we are married. Taylor is still my ultimate best friend, but sometimes it isn’t easy. Here are some ways that have helped keep us close and stay best friends. 

1) Be excited about the things they get excited about. Taylor is in the fire academy right now and he comes home and tells me all about his day and all the cool things he did with fire in class. I never understand half of the vocabulary he is using and just don't get really interested so I tend to zone out. NOT OKAY! It has been my priority lately to really care and be excited for him and all the things he is doing. It has definitely helped us to be best friends. And then because I listen and get excited for him he gets excited and listens to what has happened during my day or what I think was really cool. If you want someone to care, you need to care first. 

2) Make your Spouse your priority. Put them first. Don’t let your spouse be just like every other one of your friends. Make your spouse be the most important person in your life.

3) Be forgiving. It is easy to hold a grudge. But my philosophy on this is grudges don’t do you any good. Being angry and bitter will not make you feel better about the situation or yourself. At the end of the day, your grudge will still be there. So get over it and let it go. Everyone has a bad day and sometimes we say awful things to each other that we don’t mean. I by no means am perfect at all. If Taylor wasn’t constantly forgiving me I would definitely be in trouble and we would not be the best friends that we are today. If you want a friendship that lasts, a marriage that endures, you must forgive both big and small.

4) Be grateful and reward them. One of my favorite little ‘tricks’ is to always make a big deal about the things Taylor is doing that I really appreciate instead of nagging him about doing them. When he sees that I am actually grateful he tends to do them more instead of when I am trying to force him into doing something he doesn’t want to do. It’s almost like training a dog, if you want them to do something you need to reward them. We all like to be rewarded whether we realize it or not. And this keeps both of you happy so it is a win-win for everyone!

5) And lastly, have fun together. Sometimes we get stuck in the routine of household chores, cooking food, and just working in general. This is all good and grand, but you need to have fun together too. This will keep your marriage interesting instead of being in the same old habits and going through the same motions every day. Do something you both enjoy whether you are on a sports team together, workout together, dance together or even going to the nickel arcade together. The sky is the limit. 

Real Life or a Fairy Tale? False Expectations in Your Marriage

I have been watching a lot of chick-flicks lately and need to vent about women in this world... I used to really love these romantic movies before I was married, but now I look at them a little differently. They give false hope and false expectations for any girl in a relationship or marriage. And then at the airport yesterday I overheard a newlywed who had only been married for a couple months talking to her friend. She was very upset because her and her husband had gotten in a fight the other day and her spouse wasn't sure what he had done wrong, or what she wanted him to do. She had this whole idea that he should just be able to read her mind and figure out how to make it better. Let me just tell you now, that is not how it works. We need to talk through things and work them out. You can't just expect your spouse to know exactly why you are upset or just assume they know, because most of the time they really have no idea. When we watch movies we get these unrealistic notions and ideas of how love is. In a movie the couple always takes romantic trips that would cost us a fortune, their house is always spotless even though you never see them clean, and they feast on gourmet meals every night. This is not realistic.

So let's take Titanic for a minute. They fall madly in love with each other within 3 days, yes let me say it again, 3 days. And after these 3 days they feel a love so deep for the other that they would freeze in the ocean just to die by their side... Not likely. 

Or how about A Walk To Remember.

A popular jerk falls in love with a quiet Preachers daughter. He leaves his friends and changes his life for this girl. Again let's ask ourselves, is this real? 

Both of these movies portray love differently than I do. Just calling it as I see it. 

In movies the guy/girl always seem to have mind reading capabilities and always know what they should do and figure things out just perfectly in time. This gives us a high expectation that when things go wrong in our relationship, we want the easy way out and to have the guy figure out why we are upset. If this is how you are thinking you will be very disappointed. 

Or what about true love conquers all. In a way you could say that is somewhat true. But we also need to be constantly working at our relationship and doing whatever we can to show our love for each other. Just having love for someone is not enough to conquer every hardship that will come your way. 

Real marriages aren't 'serendipitously' perfect. We don't randomly bump into our soul mate on the street, drop our papers, look into his eyes, and have a "fall in love at first sight" moment. If we set our expectations too high and expect these cheesy movie scenes, we will always be setting ourselves up for disappointment. Men can't compete with these notions so then they won't even try. 

My point is, the media gives us these unrealistic ideas that are impossible to live up to. Sure, your husband may not have abs of steel, sing like an angel, drive a sexy car, or cook like a pro, but he loves you. He treats you well, buys you roses on Valentines Day, and maybe even puts the toilet seat down after he goes to the restroom. 

It is so important to always show how thankful you are for your husband. You should never lower your expectations on how a good, strong marriage should be, but we need to be realistic. It is okay to want to go on a fun and creative date, or even be spoiled every once in a while, but we need to make a distinction between real life and a fairy tale.

Marriage is an amazing thing. Taylor and I don't keep secrets and we always tell each other what is on our mind. We don't hold grudges or wish that our spouse acted a different way or wish that our marriage was like that of in a movie. We are realistic. We both have good days and bad days. We get in fights. But we are honest and loving and we work hard to stay strong together. Marriage isn't just a happily ever after like that of in movies. It takes hard work and time and neither of us will be perfect. Be loving. Be understanding. And most importantly be forgiving. 

Fall in Love This Fall Season, 20 Fun Fall Date Ideas!

So we can all tell by the weather, that Fall is certainly on its way. I just love the Fall season. The way all the leaves on the trees change colors, the wind in the air, and that I get to wear cute boots! I have a problem with always trying to wear boots even in the summer, but now I finally have a good excuse. So here are some fun ideas for this Fall season to do with the hubby!

1) Go to a Pumpkin Patch - For as long as I can remember I have always gotten my pumpkins at a local grocery store, but I am determined to switch it up this year and we are going to an actual pumpkin patch! 

2) Star-gazing and drinking hot chocolate - Who doesn't love some creamy hot chocolate? I know I do and especially now that it's getting chilly at night I am going to take advantage and drink me some delicious hot coco. And what better way to have a romantic date by going star gazing! Tay and I love star-gazing, or city watching as we sometimes call it. We go up to the top of a hill or mountain and just look down at all the pretty lights at night and stars shining above. So romantic and relaxing! A good time to just talk and get to know each other a little better. 

3) Hike a scenic trail - Well as I have said before, I love being outdoors. I am always amazed at the beauty around me. I am not a fan of hikes where you feel like you are going to die because they are so hard, but hikes where you can just see everything for miles and miles and the view takes your breath away. I feel such gratification being away from all the nonsense of the world and especially during this Fall season when all the leaves and plants are changing colors. Don't miss it!

4) Picnic and games at the park - Grab some dinner, dessert, and a cozy blanket\and find a quiet area at the park where you guys can play games and have a cheap little date night!

5) Corn maze time - I remember my first corn maze, Taylor and I went together. (He didn't like me then, but I was head over heels totally in love with him) It was freezing and we were being chased by a scarecrow with a chainsaw and it was the perfect time to snuggle up and act all scared so I could be close to him ;) And in the end my plan worked out perfectly because here we are! 

6) Cook something Pumpkin! - I've never been a big fan of pumpkin flavored goodies or meals, but this weather is inspiring me to make pumpkin flavored everything!

7) Have a Fall photoshoot - Pictures are my absolute favorite! I love being able to look back at all our photos and remember what joke Taylor was telling me to make us laugh, or just see how happy we were then and how how in love we still are years later. 

8) Hayride - You are never too old for a good 'ol hayride!

9) Watch a scary movie in the middle of nowhere - Ya this sounds bizarre, but I can tell you it is so exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time! Take your laptop and some popcorn and find a cornfield. The first time I ever did this, I watched Signs, and I don't think the movie Signs is scary, but let me tell you, in the middle of a cornfield at night with the breeze blowing, oh man it was such a crazy and awesome night! 

10) Bonfire and smores time - Roast some marshmallows up in the mountains or even in your backyard and play some volleyball. Just one more excuse for me to be outside!

11) Make a fort - When it gets too cold outside then make a cozy warm fort and snuggle up with tons of blankets and pillows in your own living room. 

12) Harry Potter Movie Night - It's getting close to Halloween and what better way to get in the mood for witches and wizards than watching Harry Potter! 

13) Football Season - I'm not a big football fan, but, chances are one of you will be... So go bond and root for your new favorite team.

14) Leaf Jumpin - You are never too old to be kids, have fun while raking and jumping in leaves.

15) Mud War/Mud Sliding - Take advantage of this awesome rainy weather! Find a fun steep hill and go slide down on some old pans or trashcan lids. 

16) Fly Kites - This is the perfect time to fly those kites since the wind is clearly here to stay for the next couple weeks.

17) Apple picking and baking - Go to an apple orchard and find yourself some delicious apples, then come home and make a sweet surprise.

18) County Fair or Fall Festival - These seem to happen a lot during October and November. Find one close to you. You won't want to miss the outdoor concerts and fun!

19) Paint together - Painting is one of my new passions and stress relievers. One of you start at the top and the other at the bottom and then you will end up with one awesome masterpiece highlighting both of your personalities! So fun! 

20) And last but not least, Boo someone! Have you ever been booed before? Make a yummy treat or gift and then leave it at someones door. Ding dong ditching never gets old (:

Keeping it Interesting, 45 Adventures with the hubby!

Right now we don’t have kids and I intend to live it up to the fullest. Not that I am not excited to have them one day, but right now this is the time we have by ourselves to just have fun and go on adventures with each other without worrying about kids. So take advantage of the time you have with just the two of you and make the best of it. I love to look back at all these pictures and remember those fun days we have had and can't wait to keep making more.

1) Sleep under the stars.

2) Go dancing together.

3) Backpack through another country.

4) Go on a cruise.

5) Fly a kite.

6) Spend a day where you fell in love and fall in love all over again.

7) Parasailing.

8) Make a fort in your living room and watch a movie.

9) Run a marathon.

10) Rock climbing. I eventually want to go real rock-climbing, but for now this will work.

11) Bungee jumping.

12) Swim with dolphins.

  

13) White water rafting.

14) Learn to fly a plane.

15) Scuba-diving.

16) Buy a season pass and go snowboarding/skiing every week.

17) Ride on a dog sled.

18) Drive the Pacific Coast Highway from top to bottom making stops along the way.

19) Live in another country.

20) See the Northern Lights.

21) Work out together.

22) Tandem Bike riding.

23) Take a hike where the scenery is stunning!We love hiking! It is free and takes my breath away everytime.

24) Go sand boarding at the dunes. (Snowboarding on sand)

25) Windsurfing.

26) Sumo-wrestling.

27) Have a candlelit dinner.

28) Visit Niagra Falls.

29) Hot Air-Ballooning.      

This was one of the most magical and beautiful days that I have ever had. Not only was the view spectacular and gorgeous, but Taylor proposed to me. It was definitely a day to remember!

   

30) Visit Dracula’s Castle. 

31) Take a romantic Gondola ride in Venice.

32) Play in the rain.

33) Watch fireworks from your roof.

34) Pull over on the side of the street and take a picture. 

We used to do this all the time and would get the 

greatest looks from people! I remember trying to climb on 

Taylor's shoulders as his phone was counting down to take the picture. 

It took a couple tries that is for sure! Priceless memories. Do ridiculous things just for the fun of it.

35) Ziplining.

 On my very first date Taylor and I went zipling across a lake in Idaho. I can’t even explain the beauty and excitement and terror of swinging (holding on for my life because there were no harnesses) across the lake. If you let go of the handle you would be in the lake… Haha it was such an amazing night!

36) Do a zombie race and run like you’ve never run.

37) Sing karaoke to an audience.

38) Drive through the canyon. This is something I just love love love about Utah. We live right up in the mountains and it takes only 5 minutes to get up inside the canyon and taking drives is one of my favorite things to do!

39) Polar-Bear swimming.

40) Try something new. For me, I wanted to go mountain bike riding. Let me tell you, one of the scariest, but most exhilarating things I’ve ever done! I had to keep telling myself not to look down because if I did, well, I would have not made it past those 2 inch ledges we were riding on…

41) Go shooting.

42) Learn a new language together.

43) Take a roadtrip with no planned destination. 

44) Wake-boarding and surfing. 

45) Play glow in the dark Frisbee at night.

35 Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him and Make Your Marriage Last

So sometimes it can be really hard to show our spouses we love them. We get carried away and stuck in our daily routine. Sometimes I think, He knows I love him, I cook, I clean, hey I even took my time to make him a cake! What if it turns out he doesn’t even like cake? Get out of the habit and start showing different ways that you love and care for him. And don’t be afraid to get creative!

1) Snuggle into him any chance you get. –I can’t even explain how much I love this. We don’t see each other a lot so when we do I am constantly near him holding on.

2) Actually listen to his day instead of 10 percenting it as we call it. Focus on him.

3) Hold his hand wherever you go.

4) Go for a long walk, just talking about anything and making each other laugh.

5) Offer him a massage when he’s had a long day.

6) Send him sweet and sexy texts. – I love me some sweet nothings messages!

7) Cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie, his choice.

8) Laugh at his jokes.

9) Call him up just to say I love you.

10) Fall asleep in his arms.

11) Turn the lights down low.

12) Greet him with a huge smile and leap into his arms whenever he comes home.

13) Go on fun dates that you actually have to plan and prepare for instead of just a movie in dinner. -In that case we went to the drive in movies a couple weeks ago and had a candlelit dinner and chocolate covered strawberries. What a fun date that was and then we snuggled up in the back of the car and finished the movie.

14) Whisper all the things you love about him in his ear.

15) Remember to tell him you are grateful for him. Think of everything he does for you and/or family and let him know.

16) Leave messages for him on the bathroom mirror.

17) Make him his favorite meals.

18) Listen intently to his day and be understanding.

19) Kiss him on the lips everyday.

20) Have a special language only you two understand whether it’s squeezing each others hands or winking at one another.

21) Give your attention to him. Your book, vacuum, text message, facebook, can all wait!

22) Pray for him everyday.

23) Cultivate your friendship.

24) Forgive often.

25) Be patient with him.

26) Show respect.

27) Let the annoyances go. -This one can be hard I admit. There is just always something that’s going to bug us whether it’s the cupboards left open, or shoes all over the ground. Don’t get angry, you can easily close a cupboard and bring the shoes to a closet. Simple as that! Is it really worth bothering about? If no, then let it go.

28) Offer him and praise and encouragement.

29) Resist the urge to nag. -Again let go of the things that bug you! –Obviously this one is a little hard for me, but I am working on it and I have seen such a difference in both our attitudes and we both are just much more happier when there is not a ton of nagging going on!

30) Do more kissing than complaining.

31) Take a shower or bath together.

32) Pay attention to details. –Know how he likes his sandwiches cut, or which way his clothes hang on the hanger.

33) Always remember a good marriage is worth fighting for. It isn’t easy, but it will be worth it.

34) Spend quality time together, whether it’s playing Battleship (my favorite) or going on a bike ride.

And I saved my favorite for very last

35) Tell him I love you everyday! –Now this one holds a special place in my heart. When Taylor and I were first dating he told me he had never said I love you to any girl before other than his mom and sister, not even jokily saying it. I was amazed and realized those words really meant a lot to him and they began to hold the same effect on me. Ever since the first day he told me he loved me, he has said it everyday since, no exception, and I do the same.