I have been watching a lot of chick-flicks lately and need to vent about women in this world... I used to really love these romantic movies before I was married, but now I look at them a little differently. They give false hope and false expectations for any girl in a relationship or marriage. And then at the airport yesterday I overheard a newlywed who had only been married for a couple months talking to her friend. She was very upset because her and her husband had gotten in a fight the other day and her spouse wasn't sure what he had done wrong, or what she wanted him to do. She had this whole idea that he should just be able to read her mind and figure out how to make it better. Let me just tell you now, that is not how it works. We need to talk through things and work them out. You can't just expect your spouse to know exactly why you are upset or just assume they know, because most of the time they really have no idea. When we watch movies we get these unrealistic notions and ideas of how love is. In a movie the couple always takes romantic trips that would cost us a fortune, their house is always spotless even though you never see them clean, and they feast on gourmet meals every night. This is not realistic.
So let's take Titanic for a minute. They fall madly in love with each other within 3 days, yes let me say it again, 3 days. And after these 3 days they feel a love so deep for the other that they would freeze in the ocean just to die by their side... Not likely.
Or how about A Walk To Remember.
A popular jerk falls in love with a quiet Preachers daughter. He leaves his friends and changes his life for this girl. Again let's ask ourselves, is this real?
Both of these movies portray love differently than I do. Just calling it as I see it.
In movies the guy/girl always seem to have mind reading capabilities and always know what they should do and figure things out just perfectly in time. This gives us a high expectation that when things go wrong in our relationship, we want the easy way out and to have the guy figure out why we are upset. If this is how you are thinking you will be very disappointed.
Or what about true love conquers all. In a way you could say that is somewhat true. But we also need to be constantly working at our relationship and doing whatever we can to show our love for each other. Just having love for someone is not enough to conquer every hardship that will come your way.
Real marriages aren't 'serendipitously' perfect. We don't randomly bump into our soul mate on the street, drop our papers, look into his eyes, and have a "fall in love at first sight" moment. If we set our expectations too high and expect these cheesy movie scenes, we will always be setting ourselves up for disappointment. Men can't compete with these notions so then they won't even try.
My point is, the media gives us these unrealistic ideas that are impossible to live up to. Sure, your husband may not have abs of steel, sing like an angel, drive a sexy car, or cook like a pro, but he loves you. He treats you well, buys you roses on Valentines Day, and maybe even puts the toilet seat down after he goes to the restroom.
It is so important to always show how thankful you are for your husband. You should never lower your expectations on how a good, strong marriage should be, but we need to be realistic. It is okay to want to go on a fun and creative date, or even be spoiled every once in a while, but we need to make a distinction between real life and a fairy tale.
Marriage is an amazing thing. Taylor and I don't keep secrets and we always tell each other what is on our mind. We don't hold grudges or wish that our spouse acted a different way or wish that our marriage was like that of in a movie. We are realistic. We both have good days and bad days. We get in fights. But we are honest and loving and we work hard to stay strong together. Marriage isn't just a happily ever after like that of in movies. It takes hard work and time and neither of us will be perfect. Be loving. Be understanding. And most importantly be forgiving.
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