10 Marriage Tips (Whether newlyweds or old timers)

1) Love the whole package – your wife may have an annoying laugh, or your husband may drag his feet

2) Nagging only makes both of you more annoyed than to begin with. THE END.

3) No secrets – even tiny secrets (with exceptions of Christmas, birthday presents, etc..) If you are hiding something from your spouse than maybe you need to rethink what you are doing…

4) Build up your spouse with praise.

5) Love yourself – It is hard to love someone who doesn’t love themselves. Don’t fret over your imperfections. Your spouse chose you and loves you for who you are and being self-confident is a very attractive quality to have.

6) Go out on a date weekly.

7) Pray together – Sometimes you don’t realize what your spouse is worried about until it comes out in prayer. God is a partner in this marriage and it’s important to keep him close.

8) Communication is key – talk AND listen.

9) Do not gossip- Complaining about your husband to others is inconsiderate and a violation of trust.

10) Love through action – Do the dishes, wash the car, hang up a wet towel off the floor, fill up the car with gas… Do these things because you love your spouse, not because you feel obligated too.

15 Reasons to be grateful for your husband during this Thanksgiving season

It is Thanksgiving time and I have been thinking a lot about the things I am grateful for and how blessed I really am. So I decided to post about the reasons to be grateful for your husband.

I like to take a few minutes and ponder on the week and think about the things that Taylor has done that has made me really grateful. He is such an amazing husband and really makes me want to be a better person. I am so grateful for his example in my life and the smile he puts on my face every time he walks in the door. If I could write all the things I was thankful for and all the things I love about my husband, we would be sitting here for quite some time. So I decided to just choose a couple. When I think about my husband I easily can think of 101 things that I love about him and all the things he does for me that I am so grateful for so it is a little hard to narrow down.

1) I am so grateful for how forgiving he is towards me. I am not an easy person to live with. I can be very high strung and expect a lot of him. Sometimes overly expecting and I am so lucky that he takes me as I am and forgives me innumerably.

2) I am grateful to have Taylor as my best friend. He is always there for me and is the best cuddle bug that I can snuggle up to and he will just listen to my vent.

3) I am grateful that he is my biggest fan. He is and will always be there to help me live my dreams. He believes in me and I could not be more thankful.

4) I am grateful that when we are apart he gives me 100 reasons for me to come back and leap into his arms because I missed him.

5) I am grateful that he is such a loyal man.

6) I am grateful for the days he buys me Jamba Juice and comes home and surprises me with my favorite flavor!

7)  I am grateful that even if Taylor is gone for only 10 minutes I still light up the moment I see him.

8) I am grateful that Taylor lets me be weird and accepts it… Haha

9) I am grateful that even though money may be tight, he always reminds me that we will be okay and we will make it through because we are a team.

10) I am grateful he lets me be vulnerable and will listen to me when I am having a hard day.

11) I am grateful that he always sees the best in me, even when I do not deserve it.

12) I am grateful that Taylor is my rock and that I have such a wonderful man in my life.

13) I am grateful that when things get bad, he doesn't blame me, he helps me work through it and we always come out stronger in the end.

14) I am grateful that even though I know I have a lot to work on and fix, he never tries to change me, he takes me as I am and loves me with his whole heart.

15) I am grateful  for his goofy personality that can make me bust out laughing at any moment.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because it reminds us how blessed we are and how good we really have it. And it gives us a great excuse to gain 10 pounds (:

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

5 Date Night Ideas That are Free

It’s easy to come home from school/work and want to just crash on your bed. I understand, I get home exhausted and could easily fall right asleep in my cozy bed. But these 5 dates will keep your marriage alive and are totally free!! Which I love, because we are sooo poor!

1) Spa Night – This is a night of just relaxation. Light candles, turn out the lights. Take a hot bath and give each other massages. I love massages. Nothing like coming home exhausted and getting an awesome massage to make all your stresses go away.

2) Camping – Spend the night out in the mountains, desert, or even your own backyard. Look up at the stars and just curl up and snuggle. Play some games and just have a relaxing night getting to know each other a little better.

3) Cook Dinner Together – Go shopping for the ingredients you need if you don’t already have them. Cook, make a mess, and enjoy the quality time you get to have together.

4) Couples Game Night – We love game nights with other people! Not that we don’t love to spend one on one time together, but sometimes it is fun to have friends over for a little competitive fun.

5) Movie Night – Sometimes after a long days work it’s nice to just snuggle up close together and watch a movie. Preferably my choice (: I love me some chickflicks!

Just because you are married doesn’t mean you should stop getting to know each other. It is important to keep your marriage alive.

40 Ways to Have an Effective Marriage

1) Go on a weekend getaway, just the two of you.

2) Let your spouse know how important they are to you by actually showing it instead of just telling them.

3) Show interest in his hobbies whether you love them or not. Make them become a part of your life too.

4) Be tender and gentle and realize he has feelings too.

5) Try to understand where he is coming from rather than it’s your way or the highway.

6) When out spending an enjoyable night together don’t bring up nagging topics or problems. Just have fun.

7) Give him your undivided attention instead of 10 percenting it as we call it (: Still working on this one.

8) Let go of the small things. We all do annoying things and sometimes it’s better to just let it go then cause an avoidable argument.

9) Communicate respectfully and avoid placing blame such as “You did this.. You did that..”

10) Focus on what he is doing right instead of what he is doing wrong. I am really working on this one and let me tell you, it has made all the difference in our marriage.

11) Communicate with him in his particular love language.

12) Always defend your spouse, never say inappropriate or rude things about them whether you are joking or not.

13) Hide notes for him around the house.

14) Strive towards certain goals together.

15) Admit your mistakes, be humble. Sometimes I feel like I am weak by letting him know I was wrong, but pride is a big no no when it comes to having an effective marriage.

16) Play games together.

17) Laugh together.

18) Give him alone time or time to spend with his friends. Sometimes we need a break from each other and don’t let it bother you. Your marriage will be stronger because of it.

19) Offer advice when you can, avoid nagging.

20) Respect his desires and wishes.

21) Pray for him.

22) Offer massages after a long days work.

23) Express to him your needs.

24) Take drives together. I love Sunday drives. We love to just drive through nice neighborhoods and pick out things we love in other houses and what we want for our future. We never agree haha, but we compromise.

25) Brag about him to other people.

26) Express your appreciation always. Don’t expect they know how you feel.

27) Make time for each other.

28) Be kind and thoughtful.

29) Be a student and let him be the teacher. I tend to get very offensive if he tries to show me how to do something better. I KNOW how to do it… Be humble and let him help you or teach you more effectively.

30) Love your inlaws. I have many friends who can’t stand the In-laws because maybe they said something once that hurt their feelings, or the mother in law is too protective over her son, or so on… Well get over it. They are your family too and you need to act like it. Love them and treat them with respect.

31) Take special notice when he does something you are especially grateful for.

32) Know his sexual needs and desires.

33) Don’t expect him to read your mind. And especially don’t get mad when he doesn’t read it.

34) Be physically active. I think it is so so so important to look good and feel good not only for yourself, but for your spouse as well.

35) Give him the benefit of the doubt.

36) Cheer his successes.

37) Talk through important decisions you need to make and decide together.

38) Try not to argue over money. Money is the cause of much heartache in relationships and avoid that.

39) Hold his hand at home and in public.

40) And especially do not belittle his intelligence. 

How To Be Your Spouse's Best Friend

Before Taylor and I ever dated, we were best friends. We hung out every day and we knew everything about each other. He is was someone I could always go and talk to. And of course I was the person he would always came to also. Conversations were easy. We both really loved learning new things about each other. And the fact that he was totally adorable and I wanted to date him was a big reason for being best friends too. Then we started dating. And life was still perfect as ever because I had my best friend right at my side. Then we were engaged and he was still my best friend. And now we are married. Taylor is still my ultimate best friend, but sometimes it isn’t easy. Here are some ways that have helped keep us close and stay best friends. 

1) Be excited about the things they get excited about. Taylor is in the fire academy right now and he comes home and tells me all about his day and all the cool things he did with fire in class. I never understand half of the vocabulary he is using and just don't get really interested so I tend to zone out. NOT OKAY! It has been my priority lately to really care and be excited for him and all the things he is doing. It has definitely helped us to be best friends. And then because I listen and get excited for him he gets excited and listens to what has happened during my day or what I think was really cool. If you want someone to care, you need to care first. 

2) Make your Spouse your priority. Put them first. Don’t let your spouse be just like every other one of your friends. Make your spouse be the most important person in your life.

3) Be forgiving. It is easy to hold a grudge. But my philosophy on this is grudges don’t do you any good. Being angry and bitter will not make you feel better about the situation or yourself. At the end of the day, your grudge will still be there. So get over it and let it go. Everyone has a bad day and sometimes we say awful things to each other that we don’t mean. I by no means am perfect at all. If Taylor wasn’t constantly forgiving me I would definitely be in trouble and we would not be the best friends that we are today. If you want a friendship that lasts, a marriage that endures, you must forgive both big and small.

4) Be grateful and reward them. One of my favorite little ‘tricks’ is to always make a big deal about the things Taylor is doing that I really appreciate instead of nagging him about doing them. When he sees that I am actually grateful he tends to do them more instead of when I am trying to force him into doing something he doesn’t want to do. It’s almost like training a dog, if you want them to do something you need to reward them. We all like to be rewarded whether we realize it or not. And this keeps both of you happy so it is a win-win for everyone!

5) And lastly, have fun together. Sometimes we get stuck in the routine of household chores, cooking food, and just working in general. This is all good and grand, but you need to have fun together too. This will keep your marriage interesting instead of being in the same old habits and going through the same motions every day. Do something you both enjoy whether you are on a sports team together, workout together, dance together or even going to the nickel arcade together. The sky is the limit.